Monday, March 5, 2012


.....and the women who love them. SMH.

No one is perfect and i think we are all at our most irrational when it comes to matters of the heart. The smartest person can become the dumbest person as soon as they hand over their mumu button. I'm not one to judge (or at least i try not to) because i've been there (the stories i could tell you :) but it's still sad to watch. The worst is when you see someone who is worth so much sell themselves short because society has taught them to expect less than they deserve.

When you start to defend your boyfriend (who just broke up with you for no good reason, btw) for the fact that he cheated on you with 2 different girls while you were together, what am i supposed to say? You say he's not perfect and besides all men cheat.....seriously, what do u want me to say? How can i convince you that you are worth so much more and that you are selling yourself short? I can tell you and beg you like i did, but it's obvious that my words fell on deaf ears and you believe what you believe and know what you know.

My beautiful friend, I want you to be happy. I'm sad that you condone and make excuses for guys who cheat on you. You are selling yourself short and you don't even want to listen. The guy knows what he can get away with because you allow it and look the other way and on top on that you make excuses for him. You guys are always together how did he find time to cheat on you with two different girls? Oh, you went out of town. Na wa. Yet this is the same person that is using church as an excuse for why you can't continue your relationship? He said two, i say five.

Now he wants to come back. He didn't mean to break up with you. He was scared. So what say you? "It's in God's hands".

 I say, "bullshit!"

It's in God's hands = code for I will continue to stay and put up with it until this little boy decides he has had enough and then dumps me again. 

My next door neighbor/school mate suggested i talked to another schoolmate/neighbor about her belief and acceptance that all men cheat. I don't have the strength, time or interest for that. It probably won't do any good (it didn't when i talked to my friend) so why waste my time. If you are going to sell yourself short, by all means be my guest. It's still kind of sad sha!

*These are all Nigerians by the way. I don't know if other women all over the world believe that all men cheat. Maybe they do. I refuse to join that school of thought.


  1. Like you said. BULLSHIT! And in today's society all ppl who appear to be women are genetically so as well. I hate when ppl do that, assume generalizations and practice accordingly to them. Simple lesson, you put yourself on the discount rack, you are going to be sold for less than your worth. Shikena.

  2. Sigh. I mean really. I don't even have any words.

    Ok I have a few: DEATH TO THE STEREOTYPES!!!! Seriously! Not all men cheat. Jeez. When will people get it? Or are they purposely refusing to get it??

    Also, in my opinion dating a guy who is 6 years younger is just not the business. I feel like you're begging for the disrespect at that point unless the guy is at least 27 (random adult-sounding age) in which case, well, he's just another guy who cheated.

  3. @Ms.Fab: No my dear, he is nowhere near 27. Nowhere. When this thing started, she told me it was just a fling, one year later, emotions are involved and he managed to convince her along the line that it was for real.

  4. You know women have seen other women being cheated on over and over again so somewhere in their minds they have come to see that as a norm. We need a change in that thinking,which would not come overnight and without us believing in ourselves!!
    I honestly believe there are men who don' † cheat.

  5. Not every Nigerian man cheats, that is a myth perpetuated by women trying to justify their decision to condone and overlook the infidelity of their men. Don't settle for anything less than what you believe you are worth.

  6. like most people have said not all men cheat i am a strong subscriber of that mantra......i think your friend has self esteem issues and a lot of insecurity and probably does not think she is worthy of finding someone who will love only her and for who she ex cheated on me i found out walked out never looked back he came looking for me and i stood my current knows too well that i will not be held responsible for my actions should such an incident rear its ugly head

  7. Even if you hammer it into some women's ears, they won't get the message. Your friend's case, hmmm...

  8. Hmm all you can do is pray for her ni..When a woman thinks she is in love, she hears no other voice except her's and her new found love..

    As for all men shit, sorry oh but thats not an excuse to accept cheating..Like seriously, who says I dont want to cheat on the guy too? But thats a totally different story..

  9. sad story. and it happens a lot. The real tragedy here is that girl now = damaged goods. If she does manage to get out of such a r/ship, she is already scarred and damaged. I pity the next guy that she'd date. The amount of baggage she'll be bringing along...tragic.
    And yes - not all guys cheat. You can chose not to believe it and live your life that way..and miss out on someone amazing because of your mistrust due to stories you've heard/past experiences. Your loss.

  10. I refuse too!! REFUSE!!!

    sigh, one day it would all become clear to her. I have had friends in the same position where we had talked to them for years. They kept giving excuses. But everyone has their breaking point. Just pray she gets there sooner than later.

  11. Sorry Sting but you have to wait this one ....till he breaks her heart, stomps on it and puts it through the shredder then her brain will start working amount if ranting will make her see the light.

    There should be clinical state known as 'women in love' syndrome. Seriously.

  12. i dont think it is a Guy thing to cheat, if anything, it is a human thing to Cheat, the possibility for females to cheat is just as high for males to cheat. Its Human nature, there are some people who would take advantage of other people, just because they know they people love them.
    The only thing you can hope for is for you to find a person who would treat you right and that you yourself would be able to treat right.

  13. There is nothing you can do. You have tried your best to talk to her. Hopefully she wakes up one day and realise what she is doing. Love is not blind. if you turn on the switch you will see clearly.

    I know i just confused myself too lol.


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