..........................

Resident Evil .......

........or evil resident. Take your pick.

*This is kind of a dry long read. So proceed carefully. 

Throughout my clinical years in med school (3rd and 4th year), I have only been brought to tears once by an Attending, and that was on my first Medicine month. I was completely and utterly humiliated. Since then I have had other not so pleasant experiences like been kicked out of a surgery which actually made me happy because I hate scrubbing in for surgeries. 

I've never had any issues with residents, the most "negative" feedback I have gotten was that I was too quiet, but my clinical grades were usually good. Fast forward to a few months ago.  I was placed on this team with all females. Two teams shared the team room and the other team consisted of all females also. The rotation started very well.  Everyone was cool. I got the vibe that an intern on the other team didn't like me, but as time passed and people talked, it became clear that it was just her personality and she was grumpy all the time. 

On this team, we took call every 4 days. I was supposed to take overnight call with the Senior, but since a senior and an intern had to be on call and our team consisted of one senior, two interns and one med student (me), if I stayed overnight, the next day there would only be one intern to cover the whole team. So the senior decided I would only take call until 10pm so i would be available to help the intern the next day. I had no issues with that. 

I started this rotation thinking the senior knew I was a SubI since I was at the end of my 4th year. So when she would only let me take one new admission on call days, I asked her for more, but she said I don't want you to have more and do mediocre on all, I'd rather have you take one and do it well. I was like Okayyyyy. 

On call days, she started a competition amongst the interns including the ones on the other team. Whoever can finish and staff an admission within 2 hours wins a prize. 

So first 3 weeks of the rotation went by without any issues. Then Friday of the 3rd week, she out of the blue asked me if this was my SubI and I said yes and i thought she knew. She was like noooooooo, hmmm, so that means we have been under working you. You haven't been doing the work of an intern. I calmly repeated that I thought she knew which is why i initially asked for more patients. Besides, if you are a fourth year most rotations treat you like a SubI anyway, so i don't know where her brain went. Then she said the assignment she gave me earlier, that i hadn't submitted intern level material so i had to re-do it, I was like fine. 

Then she says, well you have one week to prove yourself.  Next call, I'm going to give you 3 admissions, and you can't take 5 hours to do one (that was a jab). I said sure, no problem. We were on call that day and in this hospital, they cap at 10 new admits per team. We capped really early that day before 6pm, we already had all 10, meaning there would be nothing to do overnight.  As the senior resident she sees all the patients, but the interns assigned to the patient sees them and writes the note. So by 10 pm that day when it was time for me to leave there was nothing more to be done. She wasn't doing anything, so I jokingly said, "Is there anything I could do for you before I ditch you?" Big mistake, although at that time i was oblivious to the fact that i had committed a faux pas. She was like hmm...aren't fourth years supposed to say overnight. I was like yeah, but you said i shouldn't. Then she turns to the senior on the other team and starts asking her about work hour restrictions for med students, I was laughing the whole time cos i thought she was joking. She had told me multiple times prior to that day that she didn't want me staying overnight especially since she was pumping every 4 hours and she would have to be bothered by me, If i stayed overnight. Finally she shoos me away and I leave. 

The next day she was post call, so I didn't really see her after morning rounds. After that, I noticed that she was very snippy with me, she also started to micromanage me, wouldn't give me any breathing space, she would give me a long to do list and still say make sure you go to noon report and make sure you are done with all these things before xyz time, knowing fully well that there was no way i could go to noon report and finish all she wanted on time. I would ask her a question, she would tell me to figure out the answer myself. It started to get to me especially since she wasn't that way when I started that rotation. During rounds, if i say one thing, she would attack me in front of the Attending. I was just tell what the hell is going on here. It wasn't making sense and I knew i wasn't imagining it because she was so friendly and nice at the beginning of the month. I was like is this one PMSing, what the hell? 

Then the next call day came and she gave me the first admission. I didn't even have time to finish my progress notes on my other patients, before she told me to start going to the ED to see this new patient. I went to the ED, saw the patient, came up with my assessment and plan, ran it by her and then staffed with the Attending in less than 2 hours. I was very excited because I usually took longer. Then we had to go to radiology to look at an image and she asked me and one of the interns to come along. On our way there, I was like, hey, I finished my new admission in 2 hours, and she was like, are you done with your progress notes for your other patients. I said no, and she said, well then, there's no need to be excited because you are not done. I was like o_O. 

After we got back from Radiology, we sat down to go over my note and she starts by saying that I shouldn't have been gloating that i was done in 2 hours, how do i think someone else who was around but wasn't done in 2 hours would feel. In my mind, I was like what's this mad woman talking about, I was the ONLY one who usually took forever to finish and she was the one that started the 2 hour competition in the first place, so I was baffled. There never would have been any talk of finishing in 2 two hours if she didn't start the freaking competition in the first place and not only that she had told me that I couldn't take forever with any new admission, so i didn't see anything wrong in being excited that I actually finished an admission on time for the first time that month.

Then she went on to say that I need to watch the way I talk because I could be rubbing people the wrong way and not know it (this conversation was taking place in a room full of people). 

TO BE Continued. I'm tired. lol. 

Vex Button Malfunction

Hello Friends, lovers, strangers........

We have all agreed that i'm a blogging failure this year so no need to address that. Moving on swiftly to other things. I have a lot to say about friends and friendships, but i'm usually too tired and brain dead to get into that subject matter, so i've just left it alone. However, when I think i've seen it all, life chooses to surprise me.
Yesterday, this one chic ("friend"), had texted me saying  she would like to go over the changes she made to her rotation schedule to see if it made sense. I asked her to stop by my place later in the evening and we could go over it. Now, life happened and I was stuck in the hospital working on an admission until 8pm. She texted me multiple times asking where i was, I even had to send her a picture to show i was still in the hospital, so we agreed that I would let her know when i was leaving so she could leave her apartment. At about past 7, she texted me that she was on her way to my apartment, I was like you can come meet me at the hospital cos i'm still here otherwise I will be home in an hour. Then she responded that I should let her know when I get home as she would be at my neighbors.

When I was finally leaving at 8pm, I saw that she had texted and said that she forgot that my neighbor had told her she was on call that day, so she wasn't home, so she would just wait for me outside my apartment complex. I finally got home sometime past 8, mind you I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch time when I had a parfait. Before I could get out of my car sef, o girl was waiting by my door. No wahala. We get into my apartment, and start talking about her schedule. Ironed that out and I'm thinking okay, job done dey go make I relax. For where?! She brings out her personal statement. We have been working on this thing since JANUARY!  I wrote my personal statement in a week. No joke. As at 2 weeks ago, her personal statement was perfect. I have used both joke and seriousness to tell her I was done with the madness. So imagine my surprise when she brought it out again yesterday "eh Dr. This said she should add that". I was just weak.

I had to do it right away because she had to send it to the Attending immediately. I was like "come on, seriously?" I asked her if she realized I hadn't eaten and she said I should have told her to get me something, and then said well, she didn't ask. I couldn't even say anything to her.  Normal me for don dey vex, but like those people who get so sick they can't even mount a fever response, I  just couldn't mount a vex response. Na so i start to edit personal statement again o. Oh, it's just 2 lines, it's just 2 lines..... took me another 20 minutes to get it right. Finally, she sends the email while I sit back and think about my life. The only thing i had done to make myself comfortable since I got home was take off my frigging wig. My shaved and reshaved head/hair is growing very nicely, thanks for asking. As any female who has their brain properly screwed on knows, it is beyond a travesty to still have a bra on after 9pm AT HOME. That's a no no. At least in my book. I don't even want to think about chics who wear a bra to bed, that's just incurable masochism, a severe personal problem that i won't get into right now.

Anyway after she sends the email. she says, I have a presentation tomorrow morning at 9am, can you please help me practice? If I tell you I got mad, I would be lying to you o. I DIDN'T GET MAD OR UPSET OR ANNOYED OR IRRITATED.

I WAS TOO SHOCKED!!!!!

I would never in a million, trillion years think of imposing on someone/anyone like that. I don't care how close i am to the person. At least I will let the person eat dinner especially knowing that they had been freaking working ALL DAY. But no o, this chic exists in an atlternate universe. Na so my sister pull up power point on her ipad and pushes it in front of me. LOL. It's funny now. That shit was surreal yesterday. I guess since my vex button was malfunctioning, I figured I might as well help her. I listened to her and actually helped her quite a bit with the presentation, which thankfully was on an interesting topic and I actually learned something.  Finally, at about 10pm,  almost 2 HOURS after I got home, we were done and she packed herself and left my apartment. 

After she left, I was more surprised by my non-reaction than anything else. I was like wow, this shit is broken mehn! I can't even vex like a normal person again. Maybe I was too tired, I'm not just sure what happened last night. Especially since she prevented me from going to the gym. Granted, I kept wondering how someone could think it was okay to do that. I mean, she's not my BFF or anything remotely close to that. So color me confused. I mean she had shown some self centered tendencies in the past, but this was above and beyond anything. I just don't understand people. I think i will just continue to exist in my currently friendless cocoon. I just started to venture out again and acknowledge people, now this. I have no qualms ignoring calls, texts, knocks on my door etc etc, all of which i have done to this chic in the very recent past.

P.S My Attending was trying to give me a complex about my accent this month, but that's another blog post.

Feel me

Food.......

.................is good for the soul.

When you start the day with dodo and stew and peach tea with honey, how can you possibly have a bad day? Sorry, I have no pictures of my food cos i didn't mean to blog. I have an ambivalent, apathetic relationship with my blog right now, so i'm just trying to try.

I'm home chilling cos i have a Dr's appt this morning, so i didn't have to be at the hospital at the crack of dawn. Which is why i was able to fry some delicious plantain this morning. It's the little things. But in the next couple of hours i will pay for this luxurious morning because finding parking will literally be a bitch. That's the worst thing about rotating in this hospital. Even our attending has trouble finding parking in the afternoon. God forbid you park in the patient/visitor parking lot. Those miserable VA police are happy to you give a ticket without blinking.

Alright friends, lovers and strangers. Enjoy your day.

Praying the Fat away

Lord, I want to thank you for this food, I'm about to eat

I give you all the glory for this delicious meal you have set before me

I thank you father

Now, as i consume this delicious mountain of oatmeal and spinach soup

I declare warfare on you sneaky idiots posing as cholesterol and calories

planning to add inches to my waist overnight

I give you Mike Tyson blow

I say die! 

I command you to die! 

I bind you, I cast you!

I demoralize your calorific powers

I request nutrition, and nutrition only from this mountain of oatmeal

Any confused portion of this food intending to pretend as if you don't understand my command

I bite your ear like Evander Holyfield

You must respond to my demand

Today, I declare warfare on you fat in my life 

I have been jumping in the gym for the past 4 and a half months, 

this useless fat no gree shift

Eating grass like goat in the name of salad without dressing and healthy eating

 Still, no hope

Today, na today. We go know who the boss is

I am breaking the yoke of fat today in my life. 

In the mighty name of Jesus

I command you to die by fire

I say die

I proclaim spiritual liposuction in all areas of concern 

from my belly, to my hips

all you demonic fat reducing my hustle

I say burn by fire right now

in the name of Jesus

Abeg, God understand my needs

I have attached some spinach inside this soup

I have downgraded from garri and pounded yam to oatmeal

All this poached egg business is disturbing my hustle

So try and meet me halfway 

please I beg you 

in the mighty name of Jesus

Amen!!

I almost died laughing. Who no go, no know! The struggle is real!!!! 

I almost miss Naija church. 

We know how to kabash sha!
I still think Nigerians are one of the funniest people on earth.
She went from kabashing to begging
was switching from english to pidgin
This is the funniest thing i have heard in a while.
I have given up on the weight loss struggle for now
that one is to be continued at a future undecided date
I have to pick my battles one at a time.