Daughter of my mother; Child of wealth; Sister; Auntie; godmother; Native Doctor-in-training; Med Student by day, Naija Ninja by night. Concortionist Chef; Very-Bad-Good-Girl; Warrior! Made in Nigeria.
Find me on twitter @nigerianscorpio
Today Dec 1st is World AIDS day. I am very passionate about HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention but i have not actively done anything about it, all that is about to change because i am going to work it into something i have to do for school anyway. There are way too many people living with this very preventable disease and the infection rate keeps rising. WHY?
Are people still burying their heads in the sand and thinking it will never happen to them? I don't understand. When i hear about unplanned pregnancies by both celebrities and regular people, i shudder because the first thought that comes to my head is, how can people be having unprotected sex in this day and age of HIV/AIDS.
I remember listening to this recording that was going around facebook of one bini girl (no offense to bini girls out there, i am a proud Edo chic myself. Benin City, born, bred and buttered :) talking to this igbo dude on the phone. The dude is supposed to be her boyfriend and he was saying since she was coming over, he will get condoms. The chic gets very upset and asks him who he is going to use the condom with. She goes on to say she only uses condoms with her customers and how can he be saying he wants to use a condom with her. She said that she doesn't "hear it" (her words not mine) when she uses a condom. The guy asks her what if she gets pregnant and she says "dem no dey comot am?" There was a whole lot to that conversation that is irrelevant to this post, but the whole time, my mouth was hanging wide open. I couldn't believe my ears. No wonder the infection rates keep rising. She refuses to use a condom because she doesn't feel "it", it means the guy doesn't like her if they use it and it is only used with customers. Wowzers!
As far as i am concerned, sex without protection should not exist in anyone's vocabulary, unless you are married and trying to have kids. Even if you are married, you might still want to consider using protection if you know or suspect your partner is a philandering idiot. Don't get me started on the number of women who have been infected by this disease (and other STI's) by their unfaithful husbands, especially in Africa. I'm not saying it doesn't happen in other countries because it does, but i know we are especially guilty of having women who are not as empowered as they ought to. It's hard to imagine some rural woman insisting her husband use a condom when she is afraid to talk back to him in the first place. Let not pretend these things don't exist because they do. There's a whole lot more to that, but i won't go into it right now.
There is surprisingly still a lot of misconceptions and lack of knowledge about HIV/AIDS. One of the most recent ones i read somewhere was when someone said the HIV virus can be "awaken" if it's outside a host once it comes in contact with blood. This was said in response to someone saying the virus doesn't survive outside a host. Once it's outside a host and it's dead, it can not be re-activated. Read more about that HERE
I think a lot of grassroots education still needs to be done. People need to understand the importance of using protection and getting tested. Also, people need to know that's there's life after testing HIV positive.
So people get tested and always use protection. Is the sex really worth getting HIV for? Seriously? Don't be stupid about trusting your partners also. Shine your eyes.
You can read the post i wrote sometime last year about a 20 year old guy who just found out he was HIV positive here.
I hate love!!!!
Well now........... is it really?
I mean love didn't suck when u were making googley eyes at each other and harrassing us with your PDA. When you thought the sun rose and set out of his ass, love wasn't a bitch then or when you couldn't finish a sentence without "my boyfriend this or my boyfriend that" Love wasn't public enemy no 1. Abi? Nooo.....everything was all hearts and rainbows then and you were so in love with being in love, you couldn't see what was right in front of you.
"Oh these girls of nowadays are so bold!!! They don't even care he has a girlfriend"
"She keeps calling his phone and doesn't want to leave him alone"
Errrmmmm.....did you not hear when she called and addressed him as baby and told him she missed him. Does that occur in a vacuum? Common sense should tell you that there has to be some sort of reciprocity going on there. Go on, bury your head in the sand but when it all blows up in your face, leave love out of it. Love is the innocent party in this case.
You on the other hand have been the.....
I think a lot of us confuse love with what it's not.
Love is not lust
Love is not attraction
Love is not infatuation
Love is not a crush
Love is not obsession
Love is not sex and sex is not love
Love is not dependence, co-dependence, neediness or attachment
Love is not staying safe in your comfort zone.
I'm sure we could all come up with a thousand definitions of what we think love is. To be honest, i haven't found what i think the perfect definition of love. One thing i do know for sure though, is that love doesn't hurt, love is not a bitch, and neither does love suck.
Betrayal is a bitch! Uh hum, need i say more?
Disappointments hurts, rejection hurts, being disrespected hurts, loneliness hurts, broken promises hurt, jealousy hurts, lies hurt, being made to feel less than hurts, crushed hopes and dreams suck, discovering that person you thought could do no wrong was just a flawed, flawed human being is a bitch.
So no, love is not a bitch. Love is not the one who cheated on you, abused you, lied to you, betrayed you, hurt you, left you for another woman/man, beat the crap out of you, or trampled on your self esteem.
Love is a beautiful thing. After you've been hurt and broken, true love has the ability to wipe your tears away, soothe your aching heart and make everything right.
So my friends, i hope you now know who the real culprit is.......love is on your side :)
Looking for Tips on how to get over a broken heart? Read THIS
So lately i have been super interested in broken heart images. No my heart is not broken, i think it's the healthiest it's been in a long, long time. I haven't given it to anyone for safe keeping, i figured i can keep it safe all by myself. Thank you very much. I mean, dudes be dropping and breaking stuff all the time. I can't with all these clumsy ass mofos. I just can't!
I'm going to share some of the ones i really like with you guys. All images were gotten from google images. I especially love the emo ones. Some of them are really cute. Enjoy
This is how it starts o! They start off by begging you and stuff. Look at him, heart all ripped out and shit. Uh hum! You decide that since he gave you his, you might as well give him yours. Mistake numero uno. Write that down. Just because a cute guy says he likes you doesn't mean you should get stars in your eyes and forget your common sense. He has to earn it and that takes time. Please don't talk to me about love at first sight. That's some bullshit right there. If you believe that, then i'm sorry to say you are a damn fool and you have no clue what LOVE really is.
And then, gen, gen, gen.....he goes and breaks your heart and is "nice" enough to give it back. Your tears as he hands the shattered pieces over, means nothing. In fact, what registers in his brain is that you are sweating from your eyes. As for why you are kneeling down with your hands clasped together and mumbling incoherently..... that's your own personal problem.
Heart break hotel. You see cry, you no fit cry. Eyes red, nose running, heart aching.
You can't sleep, you can't eat, you are distracted, you start to suffer from short term memory loss, you have unexplained chest pain and heart palpations, you do a lot of sweating from your eyes...... morning, noon and night. Any little thing that reminds you of him send you into a downward spiral. You begin to plot and scheme ways to get him back, until one day (It could be a week, a month, 6 months, or a year later.....it all depends on how far gone you are) you FINALLY get it (after countless hours of counseling by your friends), the idiot really meant it when he gave you the pieces of your shattered heart back.
Then the real pain sets in as you start to face reality
The pain is unbearable, made worse by the fact that you can't forsee an end to your suffering. You can't imagine a time when you will be normal again. In fact, you are willing to do anything to end the suffering, including trying to get him back.
Somebody, take this useless heart, i don't want it anymore. No, na your own, u can keep it. Shey na you give man wey break am, you no come want again? Carry your cross by yourself. It is well.....sorry.
Eyah! You still dey cry? Don't cry anymore. The guy was just an asshole. He didn't deserve you. I don't know what you saw in him in the first place. I hope you haven't been calling him o? What?!!! So you still called him again? When? How many times? 20 times?!! Back to back? Ermmm... I don't think you should keep doing that. That's some stalker type shit. Have you eaten today? Oya, go baff while i fix you a plate.... you kinda stink a little... well, maybe more than a little. Just get in the shower....Puhlease!
Sleep, wake up, cry, force yourself to eat, stare at your phone and will it to ring, look at the time, 30 more minutes to midnight, he might still call.....NOT!, be tempted to dial his number, dial it and hang up, curse yourself, call your BFF for the 100th time, more tears, rain curses on the dude....He's such a bastard. E no go better for am, sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep.
After two weeks of not calling, you have a relapse and call him again and get your little heart broken all over again and this time the pieces are flung at you. No...he doesn't want your patch-patch heart. Is that a chic's voice you hear in the background. Yep....you've been upgraded, downgraded, sidegraded or whatever helps you sleep better at night. You are butt hurt. Oh no, he didn't. Oh yes, he did. Trifling SOB!!!
You start to ask yourself, philosophical questions like what did i even see in that fool? He's not even that cute. What's the difference between a felony and a misdeamenor? Should i slash his tires or just pour sugar in his tank?
You also begin to have epiphanies..... Ah, so there really is a thin line between love and hate. And you finally admit to yourself, that yes, you do have stalker tendencies.
So the healing process starts over again. Love and longing is replaced by anger. If you are a hot blooded, vindictive mammal, you might be tempted to key his car or spray paint it with a few choice words. You have recurring thoughts of castrating him (to put it mildly). You finally agree with your girls, how much of an asswipe he is.
In time, you start to feel like your self again. You might have lost some weight, but you see that as a bonus for all the heart ache you've been through. I mean, if you had to get something out of this pain, you might as well come out looking hotter after all dating that sucker dashed you some extra lbs on ur midsection.
But something's missing. Deep inside, you are still a sad little puppy.
So while you are being handed the pieces of your broken heart, resist the urge to throw it right at dude's face cos you will need all the pieces when you hand it to the almighty heart patcher, to patch your broken heart. It will never be new and shiny again, the way it was before you gave it to the dude, but you would have some well earned battle scars. Just chuck it down to growing up and one of the life experiences you have to learn along the way and be careful who you give your heart to next time. Like i said earlier, dudes be clumsy and shit these days. So just don't go giving people your heart all willy nilly. Capice?
There really is a physiological reason for the way you feel when you are heart broken.
Question: What is the best way to get over a heart break?
Answer: As with all other difficult things in life, you grit your teeth and bear it. Time is the greatest cure for a broken heart. Everything that has a beginning will surely have an end. So put down that giant tub of strawberry cheese cake ice-cream, all that does is make you bigger.Well, exercise is good too, so eat away but be prepared to work it off.
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