I guess this month has officially become "Lose all ur friends month". I can't remember the last time i got into a shouting match with any of my female friends. My friend i referred to in my previous post (Cynthia), did not even give me the time of day and our friendship disintegrated over text messages. For me to get into a shouting match with a girl makes me feel like i'm in secondary school again. God forbid. What was the fight about? I'm not exactly sure. She feels like i don't know how to handle other people's opinion and i get mad whenever she says something i don't want to hear. Hmm.... I am a very blunt person, i have been told that since i was in JSS1, so it's not something i picked up along the way. I don't expect my friends to tell me what i want to hear cos i don't tell them what they want to hear.
The thing is, the way she states her opinion gets on my last nerve. Two people can say the exact same thing and get completely opposite reactions cos of the way in which they said it. Now the problem is whenever she has gotten on my nerves, all i want to do is get off the phone to go cool off. I just became friends with this chic and honestly i don't have any other friends that piss me off. My friends tell me things that are contrary to what i want to hear all the time and i don't get pissed off, but she takes it to a whole nother level. It's almost like i'm dealing with my mother. She talks to me like she's talking to a child. Anyway, the main problem is that she thinks i get off the phone abruptly and she feels it's disrespectful and insulting. I don't get it. Would she prefer me to stay on the phone and cuss her out? Whenever i'm pissed, i need time to cool off. I don't see how that is rude or insulting. I don't hang up the phone, i just say i have to go to bed or something. She said it's almost like i hang up. Then she brought up an incident that 5 months ago which i apologised for and had totally forgotten about, and i just gave up on the whole thing. I kept asking her how that had to do with the issue and she went off on another tangent, talking about Cynthia's reaction at the time and how she was justified in acting the way she did. I'm like, is the conversation about me and u or me and Cynthia? I can't deal with people who hold grudges and worst of all she said she hasn't being herself around me becos she's scared of speaking her mind cos i'm so touchy. Jesus H. Christ. Someone would think i'm such a monster. I have never had to deal with this kind of crap since i was 16yrs old when i graduated from that crazy all girls school. I wasn't born yesterday and she is the first person that has ever said that to me.
The thing is my friendship with this girl is relatively new. She would never have become my friend if she had not come to America. We went to the same secondary school, but she wasn't in my class and we never said a word to each other. She was in the same class as one of my best friends and that's all i knew about her. I spent a long year in uni in Nigeria before coming here. We happened to be in the same Hall, and given the fact that we were in the new environment, i would say hi to her whenever i saw her. She later told me that she was shocked when i first say hi to her cos she told i was beefing her all along in secondary school. See me see wahala. I wasn't surprised though cos i had a lot of unknown enemies in sec. sch. All those people who thot i used to "feel" (LOL).
After i broke up with my boyfriend at the time, he didn't see anyone to ask out, he went and asked this girl out. Alright, personally i wasn't tripping about it cos it wasn't like she was my friend or anything, but my crazy troublesome best friend took the matter on her head. Whenever we would see her in the hostel, my friend would make a comment and we would laugh. Hey.... I'm allowed to laugh. They ended up not dating cos she said she felt guilty. Besides that, according to her it was obvious he wasn't over me and he was just trying to date someone to forget about me.
Moving on, six years later i get a phone call out of the blue. When she mentioned her name, i couldn't for the life of me remember who she was, not because i forgot about her but becos she was the last person i expected to call me. It took about 2 phone calls b4 i figured out who she was. Fear catch me. I quickly bought a phone card and called my best friend who was in her class back in the day. I was like, "why would XYZ decide she wants to be friends with me after all these years?" We couldn't figure it out and after a while i chilled.
A couple of months after that i get a call from a US phone number and it was XYZ. Apparently, she knew she was going to be coming to the States and she decided to get my number from my ex-boyfriend and call me. That's how we became friends. Initially, i was busy with school and all that so didn't talk much but towards the end of last year we started talking regularly. Now after all this petty nonsense, i really don't know if i want to continue the friendship. We obviously are not compatible cos she feels she can't tell me her true opinions and the way she talks pisses me the hell off. I don't fight with my female friends this is all new to me. I don't know whether to give the friendship another go or just let it go. I find all this petty quarrels very stressful and it really does bother me.
Unique Prayer Request
13 hours ago
O dear don't get stressed over this please, there are more important things to be bothered by trust me. How old is this cynthia girl again?
ReplyDeleteGirl when was the last time u had fun? like real fun? U need to go to the spa, relax n enjoy ur self.......infact holla at one fine ass broda n ask him out.......ummmmm i have a feeling u won't consider the last one........k just do anything that'll make u happy love, stop letting people bother ur sweet self ok? Love ya babes!
Dump her. IMHO. She started talking to you cos she was a stranger to a new place. Not cos of any real connection. Its not worth it, i feel. I hate bickering with anyone.
ReplyDeleteAnd um.... Whats the deal with the post title?
@DL: I was stressed, but not anymore. Cynthia is 24. I can't remember the last time i had fun. I'm not even sure i know the meaning of that word. Trust me, if i had a fine ass broda to ask out and i knew he was feeling me, i would (maybe).
ReplyDelete@Onydchic: She has been dumped. I don't have time for people who place themselves on a pedestal and expect VIP treatment from anyone they encounter. Every little thing someone does or says that she doesn't like is an insult to her. Puh lease!
Ditch the joker mehn!
ReplyDeleteYeah, you might want to let her know (in a tactful way) that your relationship with her is not what you thought it'd be and let her know you'd like to move on.
ReplyDeleteNo explanations neccessary.
Having friends shouldn't be this difficult.
You are right, it sounds just like HS.